Self-Care Postpartum: In Defense of the Kid-Free Target Run
By Marie McCausland PhD, MPH
Last week I made a post in our DigiDoula Village Facebook Group and asked for everyone to share if they had any hobbies.
There were people who talked about crocheting, plant caretaking, taking walks, and just going on shopping trips.
It got me thinking about a question I have asked myself continually since becoming a mom:
What am I doing for self care?
Before I had my son I was a research scientist. I’d spend long hours in the lab from late nights to early mornings. I remember one time even sleeping in the lab because if I’d get five hours of sleep if I slept in the lab and only probably 3 if I went home because I would have to take the bus. My husband and I could just sleep in whenever. We could go wherever we wanted whenever we wanted. I had almost too many hobbies, from needle-felting to yoga. Self-care for me was chilling on the couch with my husband or sweating with my old lady friends at the Gym.
When I had my son, if I even wanted to get up to pee I had to figure out where I was going to set down a baby and if it wasn’t in someone else’s arms, I’d have to listen to him cry the whole time. I’d hear phantom cries when I showered and run out to realize no one was crying it was all just in my head. I didn’t do yoga anymore…heck my stomach looked and felt like a deflated beach ball and when I laid on my stomach I felt like I was literally putting my intestines on the carpet because I could feel everything. What are abs postpartum?
I didn’t want to work those long hours anymore. I felt guilty when I was at work because I wasn’t with my son, and when I was with my son I felt guilty I wasn’t working.
But OHHH those Target runs postpartum without a baby felt like I had won the lottery.
And I get it. I’ve read the articles about how going to Target shouldn’t be seen as self care. Blah Blah Blah.
They have coffee. They have seasonal trinkets I can buy that I don’t need. They have cute baby clothes that make my son look like a dinosaur. I can buy at least one grocery item off my list and feel accomplished while having gotten away for a little bit. Yeah I get it, that doing basic chores “shouldn’t be seen as self care” because we should want more than that. And I agree, to some extent. Truth is, you could probably put back your $100 worth of impulse buys and book yourself a massage (if you are in the Cleveland area, I definitely recommend The Womb Wellness Center) and feel more relaxed with your “me time” vs going to Target.
However, I must also say I’ve never left Target feeling unhappy, so I’m going to keep counting that alone time as self care, THANK YOU!
Do what makes you feel good. Whether it’s going to Walmart or Target and being away for a bit, getting a massage or doing some crafting. Do what makes you feel good and don’t let other’s police what you consider self-care. Newborn life is HARD and sometimes when you are in the thick of things….going to Target is the best you can get and that’s OK. Get your coffee. Get your dollar bin items. Get your snacks and forget the haters!
My son is four now and I recently took a 4 day/3 night trip to Michigan to do some work on my business and to also get my hair cut and dyed by an AMAZING hair stylist Ashley M. I went out to eat, I slept ALONE for the ENTIRE NIGHT in a hotel room, and you know what else I did?
I went to Target.
#Selfcare #Treatyourself